My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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