I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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