Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
