I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
