I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
