You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
