that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
