I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
