Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
