yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
