Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
