hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
