But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
