I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
