u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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