i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
