i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
