I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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