I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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