Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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