So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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