Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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