quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
