He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
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My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize