You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
then he tried to convert me to islam
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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