i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
