So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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