and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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