you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
