That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
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