in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
