apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am one with the molecules
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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