I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
