What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
