I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
