life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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