I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
