Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
