I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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