I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They have beer where we have blood.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
