How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
