..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
