I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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