look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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