Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
