My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize