the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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