haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
