I just pynch a tree in the face
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
