then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
