I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
pray to the hookup gods
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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