you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
