I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
