Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
