So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
