belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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